Reignited

I became comfortable and in comfort, I lost faith in myself.

I stopped writing.

I stopped painting

I stopped sculpting

I stopped playing music

I forgot the way clay smelled

I forgot the way I loved words

I forgot the way a paintbrush felt in my hand
I forgot the way black and white felt under my fingers

I began working jobs I hated
I began believing life was hard
I began thinking I never had time
I began thinking money meant more than happiness




I must be reignited.

Temporary

These feelings are only temporary
These feelings are only temporary
These feelings are only temporary

You are only temporary
You are only temporary
You are only temporary

We are all only temporary
We are all only temporary
We are all only temporary

Walked.

I wish with all my heart 

that I had walked away when I planned to.

Instead we walked around your block 

getting to know the neighborhood when you moved in.

We walked around streets joyfully drunk

going from bar to bar but only seeing each other 

no matter which one we were in.

We walked even though I had no idea where I was walking

and what I would do once I finally got there. 

I told you 

"You can walk away."

"You can walk away."

"You can walk away."

You said you'd stay

I figured out where I was going

but didn't know how to get there
I took your arm to find my feet

and you walked away.

Useless

My feelings for you are useless.

My feelings for you are useless.

My feelings for you are useless.

My feelings for you are useless.

My feelings for you are useless.

Granules

I want the wind to whip around me in furious tunnels


Dissolving me into tiny granules of sand


Riding currents to distant places and settling
in beaches and forests and deserts


Small grains of sand that used to be a mountain

















I used to be a mountain.

Run.

I want to run



To lose myself



In the shortness of breath



In the pain throughout my legs



In the rapid pulses of my beating heart

Your Shoes

I didn't understand you at first. I wanted to because it would just make everything easier. But time went on and you stayed guarded. I picked apart what I knew of your past and tried to find reasons. Eventually I gave up and you became a villain. Lines were drawn and we were on opposite sides.


       Now here I am, maybe not in your exact shoes but something similar. I thought I would never understand you. I hoped I would never understand you.









And now I just want to hug you and say





"I know."